“In Our Heads” by Hot Chip, 12″ on limited edition colored vinyl
The entire TV on the Radio album “Seeds” reminds me of a guy we’ll call Gerard. Gerard was someone I “dated” for a couple of months – “dated” being in quotations because it was one of those complex scenarios hard to define in an age where dialog can be interpreted in a myriad of ways depending on which communication channel proffers the bulk of conversation.
In retrospect, I shouldn’t have tolerated any of it. The initial intrigue, the subsequent crush, and later the risk of ruining our friendship (which we did anyway).
The songs bring back everything. The eagerness, the timing, the savory attraction and salty heartache. Everything that goes into a phased-out emotional connection.
The album “In Our Heads” by Hot Chip reminds me of my first boyfriend in Los Angeles. The band’s buoyant sound was similar to other bands coming up around that time like Cut Copy, Bombay Bicycle Club, and Clap Your Hands Say Yeah (who we actually hated and referred to as Clap Your Hands Say NO).
We worked in music together and listened to it all, but specifically gravitated towards that sound the most as a couple.
It was representative of the energy of our relationship.
I listened to a song by the Temper Trap on repeat, wanting someone so badly I could hardly contain myself. It turned out that he had a girlfriend of six years, and wait for it – they LIVED TOGETHER in Silverlake – but before I knew all of this, we’d drive around in his BMW holding hands and listening to bass-heavy Radiohead mixes and bands like Pretty Lights, M83, and Phantogram.
The song by Temper Trap was “Trembling Hands.”
Part of my job back then was to know about popular music. I was always eager for the next big thing. Things have changed in the last couple of years – I’m writing instead of mixing, using words rather than remixes to contextualize relationships. I seek out older, weirder stuff and somehow, it’s driving me forward on a personal level.
It’s a thrilling change of direction. Recent discoveries have been things like learning how to play a jazz riff on the piano or making friends at the opera. Hopefully, these adventures shape me so when the time comes, I’m ready to share them with someone else.
Recently, someone on a dating app said that I’m “old school.”
I took it as a compliment.