Dear Fallon,
I saw on the website that you’re the head of customer harmony and happiness so thought it would be best to email you directly.
I have some questions about your superfood almond milk. My hope is that everyone in my family can enjoy this wonderful plant elixir this holiday season, as stated on your website!
First, it says that each batch is encoded with the intention to inspire a consciousness shift in one’s life. Can you tell me more about this shift? Would it be possible to see an unedited version of the process and/or manifesto?
Next, what kind of activation water are the almonds soaked in? It says on your website that the nuts experience an ancient sound bath ritual as they “awaken.” Can you tell us more about this? Is there a playlist?
I also read on your website that the activation process washes away the almond’s natural defense mechanisms which reduces bloating and breakouts. Can this be added to the labeling, maybe in a simpler way? Will it help Nanna stop farting?
Lastly, I understand that plant alchemy is important to your brand philosophy, and I’m certain that it helps sales. Still, it’s not entirely clear to me why your product creates “nine creamy high-vibes to nourish every layer of your being.” Which layers? Also, what do you mean by high-vibes? We are using this to make lattes, not to get high. This is causing a tiny bit of concern in our family, especially from my husband Fred.
Just a final thought: every batch may be culturally diverse, but is it equal? It’s important to fight racial bias in plants, I get it. I just wonder if it’s possible to use specific language.
Nanna didn’t understand why our consciousnesses should be elevated through the power of plants to begin with. Can’t we go back to a simpler time when a nut was just a nut she said, to which Tyler rolled his eyes and Talulah muttered something about Nanna being a plant racist.
Sometimes I don’t know what to tell my children, other than there are people in the world who hate other nuts for the color of their shell. My hope is that someday the intersections between different plant identities can influence the conversation in a positive way, instead of raise more questions. I don’t say this in front of Nanna, of course, mainly to the other moms at the market.
Anyway, thank you for reading this. I’m hoping to get my family in agreement so I can keep making this positive purchasing decision. My hope is that everyone in our household can drink this wonderful plant elixir and enjoy the benefits together.
Thank you,
Muffin Foghorn
Berkeley, CA